Testimonial
This was submitted to TeenSpace with a name; however, once you read it you will realize that the name does not matter, only the person. This is could be any kid in America!
*The names listed in the story are not the real names.
There once was a young girl; she had bright blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a heart the size of the sun. She didn't care what people thought, and didn't know what poor meant. She loved the thought of singing, even though she wasn't really all that good at it, and she knew it. She had so many friends, she didn't know half their names. She was adorable.
Anyone could say that her life was what any little girl had. This may be true. Then she grew up, just like everyone else. She was expelled in 6th grade, and to put it bluntly, the reasoning was really stupid. She had gained weight, acne, and lost all that made her adorable. Her friends shunned her, all but one. Nancy. She was there for every moment that the girl felt her life was just a nightmare and she was still a little girl with all the time in the world on her side.
Nancy was there for her when her rabbit ran away, there when her brother threw a cat at her, there when she wanted to jump off her roof. Nancy was all she had. Her brother hit her for rediculous reasons, her sister destroyed her life whenever possible. This girl never learned to ride a bike, never left her house, never made a little effort to make friends because she knew they would banish her like the others did.
She went back to public school in 8th grade in a new district. After losing 40 lbs, she still saw the fat that used to be there. She made new friends, did very well in her classes, and her new friends loved her in a way she never felt before from anyone other than Nancy.
That wasn't enough though. She had scars from the stretchmarks, and still to this day hides them. Nothing changed to her. In the back of her mind, she heard "they're going to leave you, just like the rest of them, Nancy's going to fade away of you get too close to these people, you're ugly, nothing is different..." and these words would torture her in the morning, during lunch, and when she was going to bed. She started cutting.
She cut like there was no tomorrow, and it made her feel better. She wore a wristband and a jacket, and it was like it never happened. Then one of her friends found out. Jay saw what was going on, and he told her to stop. She didn't. Kay told her to stop. She didn't. Jess told her to stop. She didn't. Dee told her to stop. She didn't. Her sister told her to stop. She didn't. Kathy told her to stop. She didn't. Her mother told her to stop. She secretly didn't. She stopped cutting her wrists and started cutting her thighs.
When she was in PE, she stopped. Everyone saw. Everyone stared. She wanted to cry when Renee asked why. She just said, "They're scars, I scraped it and it opened up." She made up lies each time, to cover it up. Renee knew she was lying, she didn't want to fight her over that in the middle of the locker room.
She stopped completely in the summer. She went into a major stage of depression. She couldn't focus, couldn't think straight, couldn't eat right, couldn't do anything. She went back to school in the Fall of her freshman year, and thought of it as a new start. It was the same old record playing, just different teachers. Nancy came out to her and told her that she was smoking pot, smoking, and taking drugs. She didn't know what to say to Nancy, she was always there for her, and didn't want to tell her something that would be uncalled for. She said it was ok, when it really wasn't. Her best friend, closest friend, sister figure, was abusing herself. She started cutting again.
She was driven mad. She made it her goal not to cut anymore. She cut once a month to relieve some madness that ran through her like blood. On New Years, her resolution was to stop cutting. She was good for the first few months, and she couldn't resist anymore. She cut once and stopped there - THEN:
She went to a TeenSpace meeting around Valentine's Day, recommended by her friend "Bee Bee". Bee Bee was the secretary there, and her closest friend. TeenSpace seemed small, not too important. She went to the meetings because she wanted to be with Bee Bee, and TeenSpace kept her mind off her problems for about an hour. She then became involved. She became Vice Secretary because of her hardcore note-taking skills while Bee Bee was in Tennis for a few months.
Bee Bee moved that summer, and TeenSpace became an official Non-Profit Organization. She took the role of Secretary when there were elections for the board. That gave her responsibility, and she loved it. She went out more, made closer friends who to this day love her to death.
Her summers use to consist of her sitting there, bored. She had goals she wanted to reach. She reached some of those: She was in a Dunk Tank, volunteering her time through TeenSpace to help a local nursing home earn some funds for activities for the residents. She went camping without her parents with TeenSpace. She washed her hair in a running river on the camping trip.
On the way home from the camping trip, everyone wanted to go home right then and there. Momma Verner stopped to get drinks for everyone since they ran out of water. They were just pulling out to go home, when everyone was talking about the waterfall that some went to see on the trip while she stayed behind with the fire roasting marshmallows. She popped open her mouth and said, "I've never seen a waterfall..." just to throw the thought out. Momma Verner slammed on her brakes and everyone said that they were going to turn around and go see the waterfall, just for her. She saw the waterfall, and almost cried. She told Nick, "I don't deserve you guys." Nick turned to her only to say, "We don't deserve you." She cried right there, feeling, no, knowing that those kids really did care, no matter how "fat" she was, how depressed she was, how much she hated herself for who she used to be. TeenSpace was for-real.
Because of TeenSpace, that girl smiles. She laughs. She talks to people. She makes friends. She goes to meetings every week to take hardcore notes and be with the people she loves the most.
Today, that girl lives to tell you that I'm not advertising TeenSpace, I'm telling you that TeenSpace changes lives, whether the people there know it or not. I am alive because of TeenSpace. Not just breathing, but I am living. I have learned to live my life. I love TeenSpace. I do deserve those kids. And if I don't deserve them, neither does this country. TeenSpace at least deserves attention, support, and help. I am 16 years old, and I am a member of TeenSpace. At every single meeting, I come home with an even longer testimony. Those kids are really something, and they need support. I support TeenSpace, TeenSpace supports you, we need your support.